While You Were Doomscrolling: The Vacuum Company Wants Pictures of Your Teeth, Plus the FBI’s Big Goof

Plus, everything you might have missed here at SonicWall over the past month.  

October has arrived, and, depending on where you are, maybe the weather has cooled down. You’re starting to see some Jack-o’-lanterns and skeletons about. Maybe you’ve been to an Oktoberfest event (or read our SOCtoberfest blogs). Hopefully, your fantasy football team is undefeated. Mine isn’t. In this month’s While You Were Doomscrolling, we’ll cover Dyson’s new AI camera toothbrush, the FBI losing some agent data, and the best bits you may have missed from SonicWall this past month. Plus, we’ll pick a new fantasy football defense for the month.  

Wake Up, Babe, AI Tooth Surveillance Just Dropped 

This past month, Dyson released the Dyson CameraJet, which is a $500 toothbrush powered by AI that has a built-in tooth camera attached. And the camera isn’t just to look at weird pictures of your mouth. The AI looks at the images captured by the camera to see gaps in your teeth and then shoots a “precision mouthrinse jet” at them to clean off any plaque or food particles etc. The goal, I guess, is to replace flossing. At least according to James Dyson. Dyson says the device doesn’t store images, but it does connect via Bluetooth and Wi-Fi, and that claim hasn’t been independently verified. If this sounds crazy, don’t just take my word for it, here’s Dyson’s product page.

The FBI Got Hacked: The Irony Is Not Lost On Anyone

Here's a sentence that should not exist: the FBI, an agency whose entire job is catching people who steal sensitive information, had its own sensitive information stolen. In late September, the bureau confirmed to its own staff that a cyberattack hit the FBIJobs.gov portal, exposing names, addresses, Social Security numbers, and, in a genuinely rough turn, medical records including psychiatric reports for agents and applicants. 

The attackers, a group called ShinyHunters, got in through a known vulnerability in an Oracle PeopleSoft server, the same HR software hosting employee and applicant records. Translation: not some elite, movie-villain hack. A patchable flaw in enterprise HR software, the kind of thing that ends up on a vulnerability scan report every organization gets and far too many ignore. 

ShinyHunters claims to have data on "mostly all" of the FBI and says it isn't after a ransom, just a correction to an earlier government report it feels mischaracterized its activities. Make of that what you will. 

National security expert Justin Sherman didn't mince words, calling it a potential counterintelligence disaster, warning the stolen data could expose thousands of personnel to profiling and foreign intelligence targeting. That's not hyperbole. A spreadsheet of names, addresses, and psychiatric histories is exactly the kind of thing a foreign intelligence service would pay well for. 

The lesson here isn't new, and that's the most embarrassing part: patch your known vulnerabilities, especially the ones sitting on systems holding your most sensitive data. If the FBI can get caught by it, nobody gets to assume they're too important to bother. 

What’s Up at SonicWall

Mark your calendar: 

• Oct. 20: New series, SASE will not happen overnight, and this series does not pretend otherwise. Explore a practical path from firewall to fabric, with Forrester and SonicWall as your guides. 

Worth a read: 

• Over 90% of traffic is encrypted, and malware loves the privacy. Learn how Cloud Secure Edge turns on the lights without the usual headaches.
• Your NSsp firewall is a powerhouse, but even powerhouses need a good manager. See how MPSS keeps your high-end hardware in top form.
• Scouting reports are not defenses. See what Lane Kiffin's loss to his own creation teaches security teams about false confidence.

In case you need a headline: 

• SonicWall won two CybersecAsia awards and entered the Hall of Fame. Ransomware, on the other hand, did not place.
• Education earned an F in attack resistance: 81,879 IPS hits per device. See the report card, and why detention will not fix this.

Catch up on-demand: 

• Over 90% of traffic is encrypted, and most teams never look inside. Learn how to inspect it without the certificate chaos or the 2 a.m. outage.
• Cloud Secure Edge setup so simple, even your Monday-morning self can manage it. Watch the live demo, coffee optional.
• Most MSPs cannot connect the dots, but a dedicated SOC can. Watch SonicSentry experts turn alert noise into foresight.

Promo alert: Your legacy VPN has served you well. Retire it with Secure Private Access Advanced and get Secure Internet Access free.

Defense of the Month

Back in September, we told you to grab the Jaguars off your waivers before everyone else caught on. If you listened, hope you enjoyed it, because this defense hasn't slowed down. Through four weeks, Jacksonville has racked up 10 sacks, forced 8 turnovers, and hasn't let a single opponent score more than 20 points. That's not a hot streak. That's just who they are right now. And that’s why they’re our Defense of the Month for October. 

Here's what's next: 

• Week 5: vs. Philadelphia Eagles 
• Week 6: vs. Houston Texans 
• Week 7: Bye 
• Week 8: vs. Indianapolis Colts 

These matchups are a gift. The Eagles' offense has been a genuine disaster, outscored 31-0 in the second half over their last two games, with a scoreless-on-third-down performance against the Rams in Week 4. Houston is even worse off, sitting at 0-4 and still searching for its footing on offense. If Jacksonville's defense has feasted on bad offenses all season, it's about to eat again, twice. 

The bye in Week 7 does mean you'll need a one-week replacement if you're holding them for the long haul, but even if you have to drop the Jags to stream another defense in week 7, weeks 5 and 6 will make it worth it. We’ll be back in November with more news and fantasy picks.